Hide and Seek
by Eilan88
Summary: Bobby is restless and lost since John left. He tries to deal with the situation, but do he have to accept that John is gone? Paaring: BobbyJohn. Please don't judge the story by the summary I know it's bad.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: All the thoughts and feelings are haunting him. Will he ever be able to cope with his loss? Paaring: Bobby/John

AN: I don't own anything, etc.

English isn't my first language but I read so many fics that I had to write in English. But I want to apologize for messing up with grammar rules or making other mistakes. Don't be too critical. (Rated T because there might follow some more chapters)

Hide and Seek

"This was the day our story ended. A story without a beginning. Even without the story itself. I tried to push everything away. To show nothing to the others., but my world fell apart when you walked out of the plane. I really wanted to hold you back. I even thought about beating you down so you cannot leave. Leave me!

But there was a voice in my head. The voice with the buts. It was always there. It told me you would be unhappy and cross with me for holding you back. And loosing you would be easier than standing your disappointment or hate. I would have done anything to make you happy. And if you would only be happy without me I have to accept.

Maybe you would think I have Rogue to comfort me, but what is Rogue compared to you?

I like her, yeah I do, but she couldn't give me the oblivion I tried to find when I recognized my feelings I had, no have, for you.

You were a great friend but I knew you would never feel more like friendship. Maybe I would have ruined our friendship by telling you. I couldn't destroy the only thing we'll ever have. You might have laughed at me and this would have killed me. So I played my game. A friendly but distant façade outside and a despaired and lonely boy inside.

I can imagine you saying or thinking: "Why the hell is he telling me now?"

I don't know if I can answer the question honestly.

For 138 days I have been trying to ignore the dreams, trying to hide from my nightmares and trying to forget the pictures in my head, but they won't leave. Maybe I have to tell you so I won't talk to you in so many nights because I still haven't accept that I'm alone in our room. I still call it our room, even if I know that you will never come back. I would ask you, beg you to come back. But you made your decision and i have to live with it. Maybe one day I will be able to.

I don't want you to answer the letter. Or do I? No matter. I already told you the reasons of writing it, so… .

Forever yours Bobby "

He put the letter into the envelope without reading it again and tried to clam himself down. After his tears stopped to fall he stood up to head for dinner.

The envelop still lying on his desk. There were no address on it.

AN: Please send many reviews. It was my first fanfic and the problems with the language might be worse than I expected but I really tried.

I do not know if I should continue or if I should stop here. I might have something to continue but I don't want to destroy this. What should I do?


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I don't own anything.

Warning: Maybe the story got a little bit too sentimental.

It took long to continue. I started many times but it never felt … right (I hope you know what I'm trying to explain ;-)). When I started this I had a absolutely different story in mind but while writing the whole story changed. I hope you enjoy it. I want to find out if its good or bad when my fingers start to develop a independent existence. So, please read and review.

Chapter 2 

Bobby walked through another empty hallway. Most of the kids were outside, laying or playing in the sun. Others were at home spending their summer holidays with their parents.

The Drakes asked Bobby to come home as well. They really tried to get their "old Bobby" back. But the "old Bobby" doesn't exist anymore. They tried had to renew the contact, maybe to apologize for what Ronny had done.

Ronny, who had called the police, so John blew up the police cars. John…

"And here we go again. I'm always coming back to him." Bobby thought sarcastically.

No. He does not want to go to Boston. Anything would remind him of that single day. The beginning, where John slipped away.

"This isn't right. It started earlier. But when? With Rogues appearance? When I started dating her? Maybe somewhere in between. I don't know where I made the mistake. But I got punished by the loss of the most important thing in my world."

His thoughts went back to the letter he wrote two weeks ago. It was still laying on his desk. The only thing he managed was to write "John" on the envelope The Iceman thought things would be better after writing everything down. All the things he should have told him, but couldn't and Bobby knew that he wouldn't change anything, even if he would have the chance to go back in time. However, the writing didn't free his mind. He do not feel better.

He knew that teachers **and** pupils worry about his behavior. He wasn't the funny careless boy anymore. The boy he was till some moth ago seemed to be a stranger by now. Currently he is often lost in his thoughts and every time you see him there is a sad and weary expression on his face.

That's because he's afraid to sleep. Afraid of the dreams which are haunting him. Sometimes at night he walks to his desk and let the envelope slip through his fingers. He has never opened it after writing it, but the feeling of the paper touching his skin comforts him. There are many uneasy nights. There are so many ways when he should have made another decision. But he didn't. Now he has to live with the consequences.

The Professor, Storm, Rogue, even Logan tried to filter down to him.

They failed.

Lost in those thoughts he didn't recognize his feet led him to his room.

The moment he opened the door he knew something was wrong. The window, he closed in the morning, was open. He knew it was closed because he hates his room to get too warm on those hot summer days.

His eyes wandered through the room.

Out of the corner of his eyes he saw a dark object lying on his desk. With three large steps he was next to it.

He gasped.

His fingers were shaking as he reached out to touch the small thing. He had to touch it, because he had to convince himself that this wasn't another bad dream.

Slowly his fingers shaved the cold metal. Out of his agitation it began to freeze over. Quickly he pulled his hand back struggled to regain his composure. The thin coat of ice began to melt in the warm room.

He watched the water drops running down the engraved shark teeth, remembering the day John brought it. It was one of his first days at the mansion.

"He saw and loved it. Surely he had no money." Bobby thought with a distant smile on his lips.

He lend him the money and never got it back. But he never reminded the fire player of it.

He was happy that something could make the earnest and embittered boy smile. Later there were other things as well, but this was the way how the Iceman broke through Johns protective wall. This was the day they became friends.

Slowly his thoughts came back to the present.

Out of habit Bobby searched for his ardently loved piece of paper. He didn't find it. He looked everywhere, but it was gone.

He knew that John must have been in the room by the moment he saw the Zippo – he never went somewhere without it –

"and now he has the letter!" he thought panicked.

Bobby never thought about sending it. The thought of St.John Allerdyce reading his letter terrified him. But what could he do?

AN: I think I messed up with the time but I never were very gifted in languages. Sorry.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I don't own anything, you know ;)

I've been reading Bobby/John fics the last few days and getting obsessed with them again. Doing this I found my own fic, which I started 4 (!) years ago. Something made me write again and maybe somewhere in the world, there is someone who is interested in this chapter. Even if the movies are nearly forgotten ;)

Chapter 3

Weeks have past since he took the letter from Bobbys desk.

33 days and 21 attempts to call him. But like all the stupid girls in those movies he hung up before the Iceman even would have a chance to get to his mobile. So good he thought about calling with a hidden number.

"Would he assume that it could be me? I mean, he has to know that I was in his room. I forgot my lighter. Stupid thing."

He didn't mean to leave it.

He doesn't even know why he went back to the mansion in the first place.

Maybe he just felt sad and wanted a reminder of good days. But standing in his old room... .

The feelings weren't just good. They were bittersweet and making him more sad than happy.

All the things he had thrown away by leaving.

But he had to go. Things were getting worse and he couldn't stand it anymore back then. So he did what he always did.

He ran.

Ran as far as he could. Because joining Magneto meant to be on the other side. He couldn't get further away by flying to another planet.

But his time with Magneto was short. The freedom Magneto promised were nothing more than this. A promise. And he had enough of this. He was tired of being ignored and lied to.

And even with all this rough boy attitude... he really didn't want to kill anyone. He liked to make a mess and sometimes he got lost in this process, so he didn't recognize hurting anybody. But later, when the thrill vanished he would always be sorry and regret loosing control.

So he did what he was best at again. He left Magneto and the Brotherhood.

He didn't have a plan. No money, nowhere to go, no one who cared.

He felt like thirteen again.

Walking through the streets at night, stealing and sleeping in abandoned warehouses. Time and maybe even live didn't matter anymore.

He sank into depression. Living only in his head. Watching all those pictures slowly passing by. Emotions floating through his body.

But one night he woke up with the desire to really see and feel what haunted him.

That's what put him in a train to Westchester.

He waited, hidden by the bushes, at the fence. From there he could see his old room. The window was closed but this wouldn't be a problem.

"Does Bobby still live in this room? Does he already have a new roommate?"

He was nervous as hell and a part of him regretted coming here.

"What if they catch me?"

That's when he saw a glimpse of Bobby at the window and his heart skipped a beat. This sight pushed most of his doubts away.

When he watched the Icemaker leave the room, he thought: "Now or never!"

To Johns advantage the Professor loved the ivy growing up the walls of the mansion. An easy way to get to the second floor.

Once inside the room John was caught by surprise. His things hadn't been touched. Even the sheets of his bed were ruffled.

He looked around. Unsure what to do.

One of the two desks were covered in papers. Bobbys desk. The picture of the both of them still on it.

It was taken a few years ago on a camping trip. Both faces laughing.

It was long before things got more difficult.

Before John changed.

Before Rough appeared.

Before Bobby changed.

The Fireplayer reached into his pocket to grab his lighter. It was always comforting to him. He was so used to it, that he didn't really notice.

But there were something else catching his eyes.

An envelop. With his name on it. He recognized Bobbys handwriting and got curious.

He reached for it. Hesitating.

"Should I open it? At least there is my name on it!"

The envelop were sealed. So with his lighter still in his right hand he couldn't open it. Therefor he put the lighter on the desk to use both hands.

"Dear John..." was as far as he got, when he heard footsteps coming closer to the room.

Panicking he made a run for the window. Climbing down the wall and running as far as he could. He stopped a few miles away from the institute. Catching his breath. He wanted to brush a few strands of hair out of his eyes, recognizing he was still holding the letter.

"Bobby will notice it is gone, but maybe he will think that one of the other pupils took it." That's when he remembered laying down his lighter to open the letter.

"Oh crap..."

John smiled at the thought of that day. He didn't really leave after that. He could be at the institute in an half hour long walk.

Still he didn't know what to do.

Of course Bobbys letter made him hope. But all he had learned is that hope is one big disappointment.

Still lost in those thoughts he rounded the next corner. Gaze down to the pavement, when he ran into someone.

"God, watch your steps!" he yelled and wanted to continue his brisk walk when a hand gripped his arm.

Still angry he looked up to the boys face.

He froze as he looked into well known blue eyes.

Bobby didn't look any less shocked.

AN: What do you think? I might be a bit out of practice. But I really want to know if anyone at last read the chapter ;)


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I don't own anything, you know ;)

It seems that this story would be a really long projekt. I watched X-Men: First Class on tv today. So I started to read fic again. Ich wrote together a new chapter. Hope you enjoy it ;).

Chapter 4

The boys looked at each other, frozen like statures.

Neither of them knew what to do or what to say.

Even if both were thinking the same, they were too afraid to move to change anything about this moment. Both decided to let the other make the first move while sorting out their feelings and thoughts.

"_Oh my god, it's really him. How are the odds of something like this happening? Has he always been just around the corner for the last couple of weeks? I heard the professor telling Storm that John left the brotherhood. I was worried sick of what might have happened. How could he do something like this to me? Steeling the letter, probably reading it and now showing no reaction what so ever."_ Bobbys thought with rising anger.

At the same time Johns thoughts were more insecure as he would even admit to himself:

"_He must hate me. No matter what he wrote in this stupid letter. The letter must be pretty old, the envelop was stained and had kinked corners. I'm sure his opinion changed completely after he heard what I did. All the people I hurt and killed. How would he ever be able to forgive me?"_

He began to panic. He wasn't ready for this. The Fireboy didn't want to live with the knowledge of how much the Iceman hated him. It would break him to hear the words he expected to hear out of his former friends mouth. A glance in his now angry features told him enough. Leaving, again, would be his best option. Being gone before Bobby came back to his senses and start speaking.

But there were something John didn't think about: Bobby was still having a firm grip around his right forearm.

The moment Pyro tried to escape, the fragile balance of this frozen moment broke. And instead of letting the brunettes arm go, the Iceman even tightened the grip.

Feeling helpless and pushed into a corner he yelled: "Let go of me!"

This was the last thing Bobby needed. He had always been calm and cool, especially with John, but this time the words burst out of him:

"How could you dare to try to run away from me again!" The smaller boy was startled by such a reaction. He had never seen the Iceman acting like this.

"After everything you must have read, there is nothing you have to say? Did our friendship mean that little to you? Did I mean that little? God, I was worried sick after hearing you left Magneto. I didn't know why. I didn't know where you were or if you even were alive. How could you do this to me? Torturing me by showing me that you took this stupid sheet of paper, but not even feeling the need to say one word to ease my mind. Do I mean nothing at all?"

The anger vanished and with every word his bitterness and helplessness shone through. Still John didn't know how to answer to this. But the reason had changed with Bobbys outburst.

"_How could he still care about me, after all I did, especially to him?"_

But "I … I ..." was all the fireplayer was able to stutter.

The taller boys face went blank. What on earth made him think that something might have changed?

Hurt written all over his features, he let go of Johns arm and started to turn around to walk away. Too disappointed to say anything else.

The expression on the Icemans face made something crack inside of Pyro. He couldn't let him walk away like this. He had never been good with words. Things always came out wrong. How could Bobby forget about this flaw in his character, beside others? But it wasn't the blondes fault.

He ran away. He created this mess, so he had to clean it up.

Without even thinking he gripped the other boys face and pressed his lips against Bobbys.

To say the Iceman was surprised would be a huge understatement. But it was a good kind of surprise.

The moment their lips met the Fireplayer realised that he didn't think the whole thing through and was now unsure of what to do next.

But Bobby sensed his hesitation and took over. He wrapped his arms around the slender figure of the smaller boy and deepened the kiss.

Both boys started to smile. The fist real smile since the Fireboy left his Iceman.

THE END

AN: What do you think? Is it a good ending, or do I have to write more?

Thanks for everyone who liked my story and supported me to finish it (finally ;))!


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